adminDr. Max Pemberton
Daily Mail
16 January 2023
‘Random acts of kindness have been shown to help those with depression’ Dr. Max speaks of recommending volunteering to a client who was suffering depression and while they were waiting for therapy. This act of service helped this client connect with others in a giving role which was significant and meaningful, Dr. Max states, “… over the months, the transformation I saw in him was incredible.’ ‘In the end he was discharged from mental health services altogether.’
Depression, obsessive compulsive behaviours, addiction, eating disorders – all these
conditions create a life of disconnection. The individual becomes fully emersed in their
behaviours and negative thought processes and eventually loses the ability to connect with life, people, nature etc on any deep level. Many of my clients have spoken of profound loneliness, feelings of isolation and lack of emotional attachment when they are fully engaged in these destructive behaviours. However, they have also spoken of having such a profound connection to their behaviours, one client stated, ‘….it is such a deep connection that I am frightened of being without it. It is me; we are one and the same even though it is killing me, I know what it is, it is familiar.’
Making changes to these entrenched behaviours is not easy. The realisation their connection to the destructive behaviour is to the detriment of any other connection can raise fears and concerns about letting it go and finding themselves empty and even more isolated. So once again, we need to suggest and encourage these clients to find meaningful connections to replace the unhealthy connection they have relied on for so long.
It is important to also mention here that self-care is vital and when someone takes on a helping role, we need to make them aware of balance and that helping others should never be to the detriment of their own wellbeing. Don’t take on too much but look at volunteering/helping as part of their recovery journey.
As Dr. Max states ‘…. (volunteering)is only part of the arsenal with which to attack
depression, but it is undoubtedly a useful tool.’
They begin to understand their lack of noticing and participating fully in life and many times during our therapy sessions this realisation helps clients to begin their journey of making changes to improve their mental wellbeing.